Welcome to the Learn To Love Website. I hope that you will find the information herein useful. I started this site because relationships are the most important investments we could make but they are what we take for granted the most. True love does exist. But to the dismay of a microwave mentality generation, true love takes a lot of effort and a lot of time investment. Most people don't want to take the time to develop a solid foundation on which they can build a future. "Beach front" relationships are the common thing now...they look good on the outside, perhaps even very expensive, but in reality their foundation is shaky. One strong storm and the relationship is in shambles. How do we break the cycle of unfruitful relationships and failing love? It's simple...Learn To Love
Question of the Month:
This month's question comes from Frank in North Carolina.
"What do you think is the most important aspect of a healthy relationship? "
Thank you for your question Frank. There are several equally important elements that go into a healthy relationship. However, if I had to pick just one I would pick "effective communication."
Without effective communication your relationship is going to be mediocre at best. Unfortunately, not enough people put enough effeort into becoming a better communicator. Without effective communication you can't really resolve conflict, which is another key element in a healthy relationship. Often times people use the excuse, "this is just how I am." If that is how you are then make up your mind to change if you want to be in a healthy relationship. If you are committed to being and staying who you are then you are committed to only having a successful relationship with yourself. Commincation can take on many forms, verbal and non-verbal. There are 3 areas that need to be improved on if you are going to be an effective communicator. Actually, there are more than 3, but I'll just highlight 3 here. First, you must realize that the other person is not you and they cannot read your mind. When you are expressing yourself, be careful about assuming the other person knows anything about what you are talking about. I sometimes get accused of over simplifying, but thats because I want to make sure you understand what I am trying to say. The second thing is becoming a good listener or paying close attention (non-verbal communication). If you listen to what the other communicator is saying or pay close attention to their non-verbal body language, you may be able to detect that they did not understand what you were trying to communicate. Communication is never one way. If it is one way it is not effective. The third thing is that you must be committed to the whole concept of being a better communicator because it is easy to stay the way your are. Even if you believe you are already an effective communicator you must be committed to the concept because you may not be as effective as you think and you could run the risk of blaming others for not understanding you when its really you who are not communicating effectively. I hope this helps!
Featured Article:
Conflict Resolution 101
No matter how in love you may feel you are, no matter how close you may think you are, and no matter how great you think your relatioship is, the true test of whether or not you have a quality relationship is what the relationship looks like after conflict. No relationship is validated until there is conflict. If you have never had a conflict then you do not have a relationship. Conflict is the testing waters and most relationships drown in the midst of the waters.
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